FRIENDSHIP IN EARLY ADULTHOOD

The old saying “Birds of a feather flock together” appears to hold some truth when it comes to viewing friendship among young adults. For example, the popular TV series Friends portrays how the six main characters share the same ethnicity, enjoy related activities and have similar levels of social skills. Commonality to an extent, is what fortifies friendships.                                         

Young adults value friendships to a large degree. This phase in life, when one has completed the transition from an adolescent to an adult, involves an increase in responsibilities. Yet, even with the burden of going to college, work, and starting a family, young adults consider maintaining friendships to be of importance. The quality and characteristics of friendships vary greatly. Friends may be emotionally intimate, or frequently have conflicts with each other. They can share a single interest, such as playing tennis, or have many shared interests and ways of thinking. Married couples may have a great number of friends, yet single adults rely more on friendship to fulfill their social needs. It is evident that those who have close friends show a greater sense of well being.                          

According to Robert Sternberg, friendship is characterized by intimacy, and not passion or commitment. Hence, one can feel close to another person, without feeling passionate arousal and permanence. Emotional intimacy may grow even greater than what existed during adolescence.

  Can men and women be just friends? At this juncture, adults have friends of both sexes. Yet, adults tend to prefer same sex friendships throughout their lives. They tend to have a larger number of friends of the same gender. Many friendships between men and women may not continue after college, or one friend gets married. Similar to earlier stages in life, women tend to confide more in each other, and talk about their feelings. Men are more inclined to participate in common activities and compete with each other, rather than confide in each other. Friendship between men and women are often intimate and men are likely to seek friendship with women whom they are attracted to. Around half of the students in colleges report romantic involvement with friends of the opposite sex.

Why are friendships so important to young adults? One reason is because it supports one’s development of identity, by providing opportunities for discussion on various topics and beliefs. It also helps people to put themselves in another’s shoes, and think through issues critically. Studies have shown that those who have many close friendships tend to be healthier and live longer than their socially isolated counterparts. The recipe for friendship is trust, respect and mutual understanding, and is guaranteed to create a bond that lasts a lifetime.